“Are you going to wear French fries ???? ?” “No, they’re straws”
“Oh! Well, ok…”
That was the conversation with my mister when the fabric arrived. On that basis I reckon the dress qualifies for #smyly (the acronym rather than the meaning behind it), because, well, I’m a kid wearing chips!
I made this for an upcoming holiday – not that I needed another summer dress – because the child in me really wanted to feel as young and free as little mister (who has a matching outfit). I braved the cold for the photos but chopped off the ridiculous black uggs I’m wearing to prevent frostbite.
On a slightly more serious note, I have been thoroughly moved by so many stories posted as part of #smyly2018. Call me cheesy but my overwhelming thought after an evening of reading the posts with the hashtag was
Everyone has a story and it all matters.
My life has been pretty smooth sailing, so much so that I feel guilty making any complaints. Of course there have been bumps along the way but it has mostly turned out ok in the end. In recent years sewing has had a lot to do with that.
Sewing is my only hobby that stuck
The reason I started sewing was because I moved countries and didn’t have my mum to hem my trousers anymore. My ex husband bought a £30 machine from Argos, but I got interested in using it anyway. I joined a class in 2012 and haven’t stopped since.
Sewing is special to me because it is the only hobby that has stuck. When I was a kid I studied the piano for 15 years, practising up to 3-4 hours a day in my teens. That felt pretty hardcore and I stopped when I realised there was no point for me to go to music college. Even with all the work I lacked the drive, passion and ultimately the talent to be a concert pianist and I didn’t want to be constantly teaching to pay the bills. But I have itchy fingers and since university I have tried and failed to stick to so many things. Gardening, snooker, cake decorating, cycling, drawing, scuba diving, just to name a few. But I’ve never been able to get past the beginner/intermediate stage of any of these, until I started sewing. Sewing hits my sweet spot, it’s a little creative, a little technical, needs a certain a level of accuracy and I get something to wear when I’m done.
Sewing gave me a social life. When I moved to the UK I had a grand total of 2 friends from home. Unlike my old job, my new colleagues weren’t really in my age group / stage of life, and most commuted into London everyday. Fortunately though, I stumbled upon Sew Over It when I lived in South London and found a whole new world. Then last year I discovered Instagram and blogging, and another world opened up to me! I would never have dreamed of meeting so many virtual (and in life) friends otherwise.
Sewing in a time of need
But how sewing really saved me was by being the constant in all times of need and change. It’s seen me through the insanity of a marriage breakup, a new partner, a baby now 18 months, and numerous house moves.
When I was feeling bleak, I could look at a beautiful fabric and think how I could maybe feel more normal again if I made something. When I needed to drown out the depressing thoughts in my head, the whirring of the machine and overlocker was noisy enough. When I wanted to break something, I cut up fabric instead. When I needed to escape, I focussed completely on sewing and only sewing.
Happily those tumultuous years are over, though honestly I would still rather not think too much about them. Some might say that means that I never made peace with it the situation. Maybe that’s true, but I can’t turn the clock back and undo or take back anything I said. So in my mind better to let go.
Anyway, today I still retain sewing as my happy place and something which calms me down at the end of the day. These days with Instagram I have virtual friends and being a part of the sewing community means I have connected with so many people I would never have otherwise met.
Finally, to end of a positive note – I always wanted to do something a bit more value adding (either socially or environmentally) than just my corporate day job. I am so pleased that sewing even lets me do that! If you are reading this or have read anything else on my blog I want to give you a massive shoutout! Still I can’t believe that there are people who actually want to read my posts about sustainability and it makes it feel so worthwhile. I do a happy dance every time a comment arrives and an even bigger one when I see someone subscribe.
My #smyly dress
So here’s the facts about my dress which makes me feel #smyly :
- Fabric: kids organic cotton jersey manufactured by Papu Stories and sold via Faberwood. 1m total, 160cm wide. By the way they are meant to be straws!
- Pattern: Cassandra dress by Valentine and Stitch. Dress has been shortened by a few inches to fit into 1m, and sleeves are also short for that reason.
Thank you for indulging me with this mental health type post – your support and time is definitely appreciated!
13 comments
Oh, Kate, it’s amazing how much we have in common… I studied piano for soon many year until, like you, felt a bit pointless to continue. And yes, I also tried so many hobbies… but sewing is the one that has stuck through the years, and I’m thankful for that.
Thank you for sharing so openly your beginnings as a seamstress, I think sewing helps many of us to deal with realities than may not easy to swallow. Its really quite amazing how a “happy place” can help to heal feelings and even a state of mind.
Keep the good work up, you are doing an amazing job with your blog!
PS: I’m waiting for a mommy and baby matching outfits picture!
Thank you Pilar, baby’s outfit is for summer! So we will take one on holidays. Unlike many people my intro to sewing was born out of necessity not because my mum or grandma taught me. No sexy story there I’m afraid ????
I am so happy to have met you and be working on so many ideas together. As life fills up and time becomes short I become more grateful for my sewing friends like you xx
I really enjoyed reading your SMYLY challenge post as I have all the others too. How heart warming it is to read how sewing has changed the sewist’s life for the better – how it has made them love life and themselves so much more. Amazing 🙂 I published my SMYLY challenge post here https://www.psychicsewerkathleen.com/smyly2018-challenge/ – happy sewing!
Thanks Kathleen, there are so many stories aren’t there?! I am glad yours has been one of thinking rather than unpreventable tragedy. I had never really broken sewing down into all those steps but it is a bit complicated to make something fit! May sewing continue to help your elephant memory tendencies ????
The more I find out about our sewing community the more I realize how much we all have on common. Thank you for sharing your story and you cute ‘French Fry’ dress!
-your fellow former piano playing sewing nerd
Hehe, are you also in the “with talent but not quite there” kind of camp? I remember one of you fun facts was having perfect pitch, another thing we have in common. Yay for team sew, beach and classical music! ????????
I can identify with a lot of your story. Sewing got me through a divorce and has been saving my sanity with a new baby and all the changes that brings. Thank you so much for sharing!
Hi Sara, sounds like we are in pretty much the same boat! I hope it’s helped you feel a lot more like “you” rather than the new label that people like to give of being “someone’s mum”!
So great that sewing has helped you through some tough spots in life and at the same time brings you so much joy too! Glad to be part of your sewing community!
You are indeed Caroline and have been for a long while even if it’s been a couple years since we’ve met in person. Shall we go to one of these craft swap things together one day?!
Hi Kate! Thanks for sharing your story! A lot have happened, haven’t it. You downplayed the “moving around a lot” bit…that bit is so uprooting and destabilising. Especially across countries and even the interstate or local moves. Away from family and friends and familiarity and favourite places and routines and a chapter in life. It’s major enough even without the associated relationship/work/financial changes. It’s great that sewing can be that constancy. I’m so glad you’re at a much better place and space nowadays. I too don’t fancy looking back. Would rather spend my energy in the now, and future and the fabrics! ???? Happy holidays!
Hi Sil, it has been a very eventful say 10 years. I guess if I stop to think about it then I would probably get stressed about too much change, and there has been too much! But I do tend to be pretty forward looking (too much? I don’t know) and if I cannot do anything about a situation then better just to let go and pretend to be laid back 🙂
What a moving story, Kate. I don’t think there is “one way” to deal with things, and like you I prefer *not* to spend time thinking about difficult things from the past, rather than “talking through” them. So I don’t believe it means you haven’t dealt with it. If you hadn’t dealt with it, how would you have the life you have now and live in the moment with your lovely family? I wish you all much continued joy, and in the short term a very happy holiday! Also, beautiful Cassandra dress and everyone should have a fun item like this in their wardrobe!